Latrommi Ym: the Not-Completely-Terrible Rewrite of My Immortal
by CyFyMech
Summary: Yes, I'm serious with that title. Yes, I know that this is probably impossible. But for the sake of all that is grammatically correct I have to try. This is my attempt to produce a complete rewrite of the most infamously bad fanfic ever created, with the hope of turning it into something at least vaguely decent. Wish me luck, and drop a review so I can get some input for this thing
1. Chapter 1

"**Latrommi Ym**," a slightly better retelling of the beloved classic, "_My Immortal."_

CHAPTER ONE:

Oh? You want to hear my story?

You're _lying_. _No one_ wants to hear my story.

You wouldn't like it anyway. You're wasting your time. Go away. Leave me alone.

Don't believe me? Fine, I'll _prove_ it. I'll tell you. _Then _will you go away?

The school was enshrouded by a mist that day. A chill breeze that could suck the very life from a newborn child flowed across the hills, and slush fell from the sky, stinging my skin like so many razor blades. Funny how the harmless cold gives me more pain now than they ever did. I had found a little corner on the edge of the grounds, on that bridge that crosses over the ravine. Nobody ever goes down there, you know. Nobody would bother me. I could just sit in my little puddle all by myself, and no one would care if I froze to death. It was almost a good feeling, having finally found a place that couldn't be made _worse _by my presence. It was like a weight had been lifted. As long as I was there, I didn't have to avoid anyone. They would all avoid me instead. I began to hope that it would grow just a little colder, and that maybe the slush would turn to proper snow. Then maybe last thing I saw before the ice took my heart forever could be the soft flakes drifting down, slowly turning the ground white and blending it with the misty air, melting into nothingness as I finally slipped away. I'd like that.

Of course it was just a fantasy. Nothing ever works out the way it should. _Someone _HAD to take it away from me. Someone who didn't know that it would have been better for them never to have known me at all. Someone who couldn't just let me dream in peace.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" they said.

I was shaken from my daydream, and before I realized it, I had looked up to see who it was. And just like that, I was yanked back into reality, and robbed of the last shreds of anything resembling contentedness. Gone was the grace of the icy water falling from the sky. Gone was the feeling of the wind carrying me away. Gone was the possibility that this miserable day could be my last. All they left was the cold, wet mud puddle on the bridge, and now there was someone there to ask me why I was sitting in it. Mind your own fucking business and _leave me alone_.

That someone was sauntering towards me from the direction of the castle, a smug little weasel of a man. It was that blonde boy. The rich one. Always bragging about his daddy. It figures _he'd _be the one to disturb me, to try and force his way into my life. I looked up at him as he kept coming towards me. Why did he have to come along just now? Why did he have to steal my fantasy away from me? I hated him for it immediately, but I couldn't keep that up for long. I felt the heat rising in my veins, burning away the cold and forcing me to realize that today would not be the day. No day will ever be the day. I'm stuck here forever and there's nothing I can do to escape.

I couldn't let him any closer. I stood up then and there, and without giving him a second look I pushed past him and ran away, back towards the school. As the slush gave way to rain I heard him calling after me, but I knew it was better for both of us that I kept running.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO:

The next morning I found myself in my bed, in the dormitories far beneath the rest of the school. I was still in my robes from the previous day, though they were dried out by now and had returned to their normal, soft and cottony state. I don't remember how I got there, but I must have found my way back after I ran off. Everything in between was an indecipherable blur. I kept my eyes shut, hoping that the remainder of my senses were mistaken, and that I was really stuck at the bottom of a canyon or lost in the bowels of a deep peat bog. To my dismay, however, I found that it was indeed a mattress that I was lying on rather than a bed of sharp rocks, and that I was entombed in warm, fuzzy blankets rather than wet, slimy mud. _How disgusting, _I thought. Before I had the chance to ask myself why I would have gone back there at all, I was reminded of exactly why I _shouldn't_ have.

"Hey!" said someone standing over me, once again pulling me out of my own thoughts and into the reality that I was unfortunately forced to share with everyone else, "I saw you talking to Malfoy yesterday!"

_Malfoy. That was his name. Miserable Malfoy. _I opened an eye, and found Willow standing over me. _Oh no, not her again._

"Why do you care?" I asked, trying for her sake to minimize my disgust. "Do you _like_ him?"

She cocked her head and squinted, as though I had just asked her how to gut a horse. "What? No! I mean, well, you were kind of talking to him. At least, I think you were."

I had only been in this conversation for a few seconds and already I was beginning to panic searching for a way out. Why did I have to ask her a _question?_ Now she'll probably _never _stop talking.

"... I mean it wasn't very long before you got up and ran away," she babbled on, "so I was just wondering if..."

I couldn't take it any longer. I tossed the blankets in her face, and made my escape into the common room. I heard her cry out and insist that I wait for her, but I pulled the door shut behind me, hopefully buying myself some time.

The dank stone walls and grimy, greenish lighting of the Slytherin Dungeons gave the impression of a forgotten shipwreck, or a dark cave; both places I would have liked to spend more time in if they weren't so full of people, and if one of them wasn't chasing after me and trying to pester me with yet more questions. I made my way around the edge of the room, avoiding the group of people at the center. My detour, however, put me at a disadvantage: Willow was able to pass right through the the group, and catch up with me as I made my exit into the halls outside.

"Wait!" she shouted, "Why are you leaving already? It's still early. Do you have to be somewhere?"

I pulled up my hood and kept going, hoping that maybe she would catch on and go away. Unfortunately, she hadn't the brains to take a hint. She grabbed me by the sleeve, and stopped me with a grip far stronger than her feeble frame would suggest she was capable of.

"What _were_ you talking about with Malfoy anyway?" she asked.

"Why are you so interested?" I didn't give her the satisfaction of looking back at her to respond.

"Well, because you're always alone, and I thought maybe you had finally found someone to hang out with." This one really _was_ daft as a brush, wasn't she?

"I _want_ to be alone," I snapped back at her. I began to wonder if it would be worth the trouble of killing her right then and there. It would certainly make me feel better. "Don't you get it?"

Her grip loosened. "Well," she said, in that tone that people take on when they deliver some simple piece of advice that is meant to stop you right in your tracks and make you turn around and hug them, "you can't be alone _all_ the time." Pathetic

"Watch me," I said, pulling my sleeve out of her hand and starting off again.

I heard a group of people exit the dungeon behind us, chattering with voices that made my ears scream and my teeth crack. I cringed. "Oy, Willow!" called one of the voices. It was that _Malfoy_ again. "What're you two up to out here? Can we watch?" There were laughs. I got the impression that he was accepting congratulations for something clever he thought he had said.

"Just inviting Ebony here out to the concert tonight," said Willow, taking hold of my robe again and preventing my escape.

"You _what?"_ This time I did turn around. I wanted her to see the full extent of the disapproval on my face. Unfortunately, the busty lummox was still busy looking at Malfoy and his prep squad.

"Oh yeah?" he said, sauntering forward. "Say, you're that girl from the bridge, aren't you? So you like sitting in dirty puddles with too few clothes on then?" Another burst of laughter and congratulations for his imagined humor. I glared at him. "So what do you say, then?" He asked, as though testing me for something. Willow turned back to me, as though having her looking at me would act as some form of encouragement.

I tore my eyes away from the God of Posh to address her instead. "If I go to your stupid concert _then_ will you leave me alone and never speak to me again?"

"Yes of course," she sighed, finally having caught on that I was trying to get rid of her.

I turned to Malfoy, my negotiations finally resolved. "Yes, I'd love to," I spat, yanking my arm once again from Willow's control.

"Very well then," he sneered, "though you should know I'm not in the habit of inviting strangers along. You should watch yourself." He winked, clearly thinking himself far more important than he actually was. Willow turned back to give me an excited smile, which I refused to return. "Meet us out on the Viaduct at 8:00 sharp tonight," he went on, "Oh, and wear something nice, will you? School robes are no outfit for relaxing in, yeah?"

I nodded my agreement, and finally made my departure. _Their mistake, really,_ I thought as I made my way up through the dungeons, _after one night they will all have learned to stay away from me._


End file.
